Bachelorette In 60 Seconds: Sophie Asks A Fav To Marry Her
There’s already so many questions going into this episode. Will Sam get his Double Delight date (or just remind us about it another ten times)?
Will Jarrod cool his jets or is he going to take his ‘stage five clinger’ status to a new level?
And who wins the ‘Real Man Games’? Surely Apollo, Blake or Luke are shoo ins aren’t they?
First off, come on producers? A bunch of guys sitting in a cabana having ‘philosophical’ discussions? The audience is not THAT stupid.
Drama will definitely occur this episode however with all the contestants invite on a group date… Excellent. And already Uncle Sam is banging on about his lack of a single date.
Time to shush. UGH!
And we did not miss the dirty minded jokes left right and centre as soon as Osher’s trouser snake was mentioned. While we too get excited when the host ‘pulls a surprise out of his pants’ we’re sticking to the wise words of one of the contestants when we say ‘wrap it up’!
Secondly, THANK YOU SOPHIE for making the boys do a plank off – we could look at Apollo’s arms all day. And all night…
Sophie, your brother-in-law thanks you too for this challenge – hopefully he gets a break from being Mr Fix-It in your life now you’re all loved up with a boyfriend.
Of all the boys in that group, who knew Mack could plank the longest!? Over 7 minutes? My stomach hurts just thinking about it!
Short guys vs the Tall guys… Geez Soph! You don’t muck around do you!
And can we say James has totally won us over. The finance adviser but do not let that fool you.
It’s official. Blake is like the Gogglebox contestant in amongst the action. He just says what most of us are thinking…
How many times can they say ‘check his nuts’? Really? People were offended from one contestant making a gesture in the last season of The Bachelor… This ep is ten minutes in and the gutter talk is running wild (and we LOVE it)!
And then come the words we have all been screaming at our tv’s for the past week… JARROD. STOP!!!!!!! Game’s over mate. You lost.
“It’s important to finish.”... Of course Sam Said that.
Shorties for the win in the Real Man competition. Who knew.
And now it’s the old farts vs the youngin’s…. Pulling no punches with these team selections. Trash talk galore.
The professional construction worker, Ryan, fails miserably and then takes his anger out on the flat pack.
Harry likes a bit of smack talk from the small amount that we’ve seen of him.
The older boys are flawless, however, James and Mack killed it. Yet we would not have guessed they’d be last two standing in the manly competition.
Now onto man making fire.
Best quote so far from Sophie: “Should we step away? I’m highly flammable!” Love how you can make fun of yourself on national TV.
James. You are THE MAN! We like them as a couple. Although of course Sophie wears the HIGHEST HEELS when she goes on a date with one of the shorter contestants.
Hmm… Any hanky panky going on under that blanket? Smooth move from the Bachelorette’s ‘cutest’ contestant.
These two have a bit of a rapport. We think James is here for the long haul.
AND THEN HE THROWS JARROD UNDER THE BUS! YES! (Sorry Jarrod)
Sophie thinks James is so perfect that he must dress as a lady at night (not that there’s anything wrong with that – we love our drag queens!). James’ response? “No, that’s Jarrod!”
We all want a boy that looks so chuffed and cheeky as James hugs Sophie when he gets a rose… Is that too much to ask?
OH NO. Here we go. We’re up to at least four Double Delight rose mentions in half an episode.
Jarrod: “Sam’s losing the plot.” … Um… Pot. Kettle. Black.
Sam now is already referring to Sophie asking him on a date as a ‘dream-like sequence’. WHAT!? How much more can we deal with between Jarrod and Sam.
Just put on the floral apron, Uncle Sam. These two are probably the worst cooks imaginable. Thank god there was a “here’s some we prepared earlier” red velvet cupcakes so the show could salvage the situation. Because those cupcakes definitely weren’t the same ones that Sophie put In the oven.
Some how they even make the icing look atrocious? We’re going back to season one of the Bachelorette – Sam Frost making a cheese toastie was definitely onto something.
Sam says he brings magic to every situation he’s in… Mate, you’re no Apollo. And Sophie said there was only one single date where there was no pash… And this is it… Uncle Sam didn’t seal the deal.
I wish those espresso martinis could be served up and sent through the TV. Could definitely use one right about now.
Cocktail party time…. And there’s MORE blue suits.
Who’s the first to stand up… Shock horror… Jarrod noticing her ‘olive dress’ and ‘half moon earrings’. You’re not trying to impress the producer sitting behind the camera mate, Breathe!
Sophie with Apollo is like a little kid the first time someone finds a penny behind their ear… And then he starts doing magic! Haha. “Would you mind putting your massive arm around me?” We hear ya sister.
“It’s like you gave me a drug! That’s not fair! How do you do that! You’re messing with my mind! Can you turn water into wine? Because then I’ll marry you!”
Then they have a heartwarming talent when Soph gushes about him behind the magic. Humble and talented. There’s something there. “You’re very special Apollo, I promise” AWWWWW
And then we’re back to Jarrod. Oh god. What’s he got there… He wants to grow something with her. FLASHBACK to How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days and the Love Fern!
And we’re back to trash talk. “I wanna go deep” “make some finger holes” “How many seeds do I use in the holes? I don’t want to use too many seeds in one hole”… I really feel the dirty undertones are being completely lost on Jarrod. This not a match made in heaven.
“It’s like being pregnant… I didn’t commit to this!” I wonder if Soph realises he’s a stage five clinger so far.
LOL at the two lurkers in the background. Luke. Ryan. Sneaky sneaky…
And the rose ceremony. Intense music plays. Will Ryan’s anger management send him packing? Or one of the guys that has had no screen time whatsoever (sorry Bingham and Hayden).
Sorry Bingham… Another one bites the dust. It seems having a unique name is a kiss of death – Bingham, Eden, Jefferson, Jourdan all gone.
NEXT WEEK: The boys meet some real men… And THE INTRUDER The allusive intruder that is said to have won Sophie’s heart. And of course the millionaire shows up in a helicopter. I wonder if it was his own?
Mackane is already on edge about the new guy and he hasn’t even arrived yet.
We can’t wait!