Michael Keaton Takes On Julian Assange On SNL
Michael Keaton has appeared in the Saturday Night Live cold open sketch as Julian Assange to counter Kate McKinnon's Lori Loughlin and Pete Davidson's Michael Avenatti for who has committed the "craziest" crime.
In a take on MSNBC's Lockup, a couple of inmates (played by Chris Redd, Kenan Thompson and Kyle Mooney) are comparing notes about whose crimes are the most serious, when McKinnon as Loughlin strolls by, telling the guys she paid $US500,000 to get her daughter into USC and getting a women's crew coach to say she was good at rowing.
"I'm loco," she said. "That's not including the $US300,000 I blew on tuition."
After McKinnon's Loughlin, it is Davidson's Avenatti's turn, posturing his own success and crimes by saying he is accused of things "you can't even conceive of, like blackmailing a sneaker company and stealing taxes from a coffee shop to fund a race car team. And I'm so shady that a porn star once said she had to distance herself from me."
Davidson also offers the only political comment of the sketch, noting he might still run for president: "Avenatti/Baldwin, 2020," he says.
Keaton as Assange is a surprise third entry.
"That's right it's me. I'm the architect of anarchy; I'm the king of chaos; I'm the scourge of the cleaning staff at the Ecuadorian embassy," he says.
When Mooney says he doesn't think he looks so tough, Keaton as Assange rebuts with, "I hope you're proud of every single photo in your iCloud because boom, all your ding-dong pics just went on the internet."
But how crazy is he, really? In his own words, he is a "James Bond supervillain" who is "one step away from destroying the goddamn moon".
In the end they decide it is Keaton's Assange who wins, even over Melissa Villasenor's Tekashi 6ix9ine, who pops up at the end with "just robbery and gun stuff".