Last night was… God. It was so satisfying.

I didn’t realise that all I wanted in life was for Ciarran from Bachie in Paradise to be scolded by a ‘ma’, but yes, it’s all I want.

All day every day, if someone could slip in a little wooden spoon smack on the bottom too, my soul would find peace. 

He’s gone on far too long without any consequences for his actions!

So last night’s episode was full of good stuff, especially all the gooey love between Alisha & Glenn and Mary & Connor!

It warmed me to my tippy toes.

But we’re here to talk about Kiki and Ciarran.


Kiki found out about Ciarran’s busy genitals because of course she did, girls talk, she was always going to find out.

A fairly, she felt a loss of trust in him and gave her mother permission to full.on.grill him to death.

Her mum looked a little disappointed in her daughter’s choices when she was debriefing her on Ciarran’s adventurous willy and if it isn’t like looking into a mirror. 

Same Kiki’s mum, same.

Everything Ciarran says is lies and a waste of time so who cares about his mate or what he said to him.


From the minute Kiki’s mum sat down with Ciarran, she symbolically grabbed him by his long platinum hair and dragged him through the mud. 

“Tell me why you weren’t honest with her”, she said unblinkingly.

“It’s pretty serious when you sleep with someone else”….

That forced Ciarran to agree “Yeah it is, 100%”, because if he didn’t he would sound like the slag that he is!

And that’s all Kiki’s mum needed. She pounced like the lioness she is.

“It’s a real dog act actually”.


“Do you think she [Kiki] deserves that?”.

These questions are PERFECT, because Ciarran CANNOT evade them.

He has to agree that it’s dog and he has to admit Kiki didn’t deserve that behaviour thus admitting he did her wrong!

Can I get Kiki’s mum on retainer to be my lawyer?

She continues to say “So did you not think about her when you were doing that?”

Ciarran is again forced to admit “No I was just thinking about myself” – BAM


“That’s a very selfish act”, Kiki’s mum summarises.

This is some therapeutic stuff for both me, the viewer, and hopefully Ciarran as he can get some self reflection out of this.

This is how you ‘Mum’, I LOVE IT.

So here’s me, starting this Mexican wave, for Kiki’s mum.

Join me!












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