When it comes to dating, the typical stereotype is that women are meant to let the guy make the first move. But according to dating expert Matthew Hussey, this is far from the case!
Matthew Hussey has a lot of experience in the dating department, being the resident matchmaker on various shows over in America and now on Channel Seven’s new show here in Oz, The Single Wives. Not to mention he’s managed to snag himself Camila Cabello as his girlfriend, so the guy obviously knows what he’s doing.
In terms of how to strike up a conversation that could possibly lead to a date and so on, Matthew told Kyle and Jackie O that it’s absolutely fine for women to be forward. In fact, he encourages it, as long as you go the right way about it.
“Is it a good idea for women to be forward?” asked Jackie.
“Yes, in the right ways,” replied Matthew. “The biggest criticism I came up against from women when I started ten years ago was ‘I don’t want to make the first move. I’ve been taught not to, I’m old fashioned’. And I knew I had to find a way around that to get women to be more proactive.”
Basically, Matthew developed a way for women to show their interest in a guy and make the first move without it being obvious or coming across as desperate in any way. It’s called the Handkerchief Technique and it actually makes a LOT of sense when you think about it!
The basis behind it is that the woman sneakily comes up with a way to start a conversation with a guy, that makes him think that it was all his idea.
“When women would say to me, ‘I’m old fashioned’, I would say, ‘I don’t think you have any idea what old fashioned is’, “ continued Matthew. “A hundred years ago a woman would walk past a guy, drop the handkerchief and keep walking. And the guy would see it, he’d think this is an extraordinary opportunity to be a man.”
“And they’d now have a conversation…In that moment he feels like that was his idea. But it wasn’t his idea. She chose him. So a huge part of my work was showing women how to drop the handkerchief today in an easy way that allowed them to make the move without seeming like they were doing much at all.”
So what can women do when she comes across a guy, whether it be out at the shops, on the street or at the bar, that can catch his attention without being obvious? According to Matthew, it’s all about the favour and making a guy feel like he’s useful.
“There’s this wonderful piece of psychology about asking a favour, where they found if you do someone a favour you actually like them more, as long as the favour’s not onerous,” revealed Matthew. “So I started to apply to attraction and say actually if women got a guy to do a small favour for them, a guy would like them in that moment, especially for men who have that provide and protect instinct.”
Matthew reassured us that this technique can be quite powerful as long as the favour isn’t something too strenuous. For instance, if you were at a coffee shop and saw a guy you liked you could ask him if he wouldn’t mind holding your jacket for a moment while you take coffees to your friends because you don’t have enough hands to hold it all.
The simple favour acts as an ice-breaker to then strike up another conversation. And it’s a very sneaky tactic because it in no way looks like you’re hitting on the guy! And if nothing actually comes from the favour and the guy doesn’t seem interested, Matthew says it’s not actually a loss because this situation is win-win for the woman.
“She doesn’t actually have to put herself on the line. If he carries on the conversation, wonderful. If he doesn’t, what has she lost? He’s just done her a small favour,” concluded Matthew.
Wow! No wonder this guy has secured a mega star as his girlfriend. Although his dazzling good looks don’t hurt his game in anyway either…
Catch more of Matthew Hussey’s tips and tricks for the dating world in his new show The Single Wives TONIGHT on Seven at 7:30pm.