Kyle was left absolutely ropable this morning after Jackie began reading out an article that appeared to be about him during her O News segment on air this morning.
Jackie told Kyle that the article in question had been published in America and was a result of his story from the day before after he told the Kyle and Jackie O listeners that he was “too fat” to fit in a V8 race car.
“So Kyle you’ve made my O News,” Jackie told Kyle on air this morning.
“You know the Huffington Post over in America? They’ve written an article about you. Should we put it up on the screen?”
It didn’t take long for Kyle to take offence to what we showed him. And we don’t blame him. The article was probably the most derogatory thing we’ve ever seen written about someone! But little did he know that we knew something he didn’t just yet…
“Oh what the hell?!” Kyle shouted in anger as soon as he saw the headline.
“The headline reads, ‘Revolting: Overweight Australian Struggles to Fit In Car’. Now this is based off yesterday’s story when Kyle was saying that he couldn’t fit into a race car,” explained Jackie.
“They’ve written a story on it.”
“What a pack of dogs,” spat out Kyle.
The rest of the article went along with this similar tone taking jabs and poking fun at Kyle whenever possible.
“Let’s read the story,” continued Jackie.
“For Australian radio DJ, Kyle Sandilands, excitement quickly turned to shame during a recent visit to a Sydney motorsport track,” Jackie read from a print out.
“The notorious shock jock was left red-faced while attempting to take a joy ride in an Audi race car. Disturbing vision posted to social media shows Sandilands, 49, struggling to wedge his bulbous figure inside the luxury vehicle.”
“Excuse me? I’m not 49,” interjected Kyle. “Oh my god. This is a hate article. What a crock of sh*t.”
But it didn’t stop there. Things just kept going downhill.
“The Australian broadcast veteran, now a swollen version of his former self, eventually conceded defeat, staring down the barrel of the camera and admitting that he was fighting a losing battle due to his hefty frame,” Jackie continued to read.
“‘My ass if too fat to fit’, he confessed, visibly ashamed.”
We could keep going, but we think you get the gist. Kyle was absolutely beside himself! We could see him planning in his head some sort of revenge on whoever approved this “fat shaming” article.
And then we dropped the bomb.
“Kyle, Only Lying,” said our executive producer Palestine.
We had just pulled off the BEST prank on the serial prankster himself!
But we think we’ll all be walking on eggshells around here for a while. Kyle is certainly going to get back at us somehow…We’ll just have to wait and see when and how he chooses to act.