A Sydney man’s EPIC rinsing of his local McDonald’s has gone viral after he posted a hilarious rant to Facebook.
Yaz – who, by the way, is one of The Edge’s awesome Mix Masters – addressed the complaint to “Mr Ronald” before painting quite the picture of his “devastating” experience.
“I am writing to you today not only as a devastated customer, but as a human now scarred by the events that took place last night,” the Sydney-based DJ began. “The time was 12:45am, it had been 45 minutes into February 2017 and your McDonald’s on Showground Road, Castle Hill, had already managed to fuck my entire month up.
“I was spending time at my girlfriend’s house when our session of Gossip Girl was rudely interrupted by my growling stomach.
“After remembering that my girlfriend is indeed white and her family does not store food as if they are expecting a worldwide shortage as my ethnic family does, it was time to visit my good friends at our local McDonald’s…… or so I thought.”
Yaz got into his car, “dropped the clutch” and pulled a “hambreak around the corner of McNugget road and Cheeseburger street”.
“I began with my usual order of a large Big Mac meal with a Coke but, due to being diagnosed with fatcunteritus, I was forced to add 2 extra beef patties to my burger transforming it into a Bigger Mac.
“As usual my white girlfriend was taking her sweet ass time to decide what she was getting even though she always gets the same fucking shit.
“She felt a little naughty so she decided to order the 24 pack of McNuggets for $9.95 (may I just say. great fucking value).”
Like most of us, Yaz had polished off every fry before he pulled back into his driveway and discovered that disaster had struck.
“I walked inside and began to undress what I assumed was a Big Mac,” he continued. “I was unprepared for the horrors and treachery that awaited me.
“A Big Mac treated so poorly that even PETA would be disgusted. Not only was one of my extra juicy beef patties missing, my entire Big Mac was lettuce free.
“That’s right. Your McSlaves figured out a way to make your burgers less healthy.
“BUT LET’S NOT STOP THERE! The burger was dryer than the summer deserts of Dubai. Where the fuck was my motherfucking Big Mac sauce?
“McDonalds. I ask you one question. What is a man to do in such a situation? I’ll tell you what I did. I ate my girlfriends McNuggets.”
Yaz’s original post has already racked up a whopping 68,000 likes, 36,000 comments and has been shared more than 15,500 times, with the music aficionado having just one, simple request of McDonald’s.
“I ask you to find the devil who built this so called burger and send him back to the realms of Hell where he belongs as I am certain that only Satan himself would commit such an act of evil,” Yaz concluded.
Your move, McDonald’s.